Copyright © 2018 Ben Hoare
[/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”3.14″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat”]Once upon a time, the animals of the jungle were having an argument. It was about the true meaning of Christmas.
If you’d been passing by in the jungle that day, you would have been forgiven for thinking that you were just hearing the normal call of the jungle animals, as the dense woodland resounded with whistles, shrieks, growls and howls. But in fact, each animal was expressing very clearly his or her understanding of the true meaning of Christmas.
The problem was, every animal thought that he or she knew the correct way to celebrate Christmas, and that all the other animals were wrong. However articulately they expressed themselves, they continued to disagree, and not one of them would concede that there was any truth at all in the others’ opinions.
The argument continued until it was interrupted by a deafening growl, and the animals turned to see the Lion, the king of the jungle, standing nearby.
“Hello everyone,” beamed the Lion. “What’s going on here?”
It was interesting to see the change that the Lion’s arrival had on the animals. Rather than talking over each other, interrupting and shouting as they had before, the animals were now very reluctant to speak at all. The Lion was the king of the jungle, and a very powerful beast. Aware of his might, most of the animals were understandably reluctant to draw undue attention to themselves.
Timidly, the Mandrill explained to the Lion what their argument was about.
The Lion pondered the matter for a few moments, then announced: “I think I have a solution to this problem. I am the king of the jungle, but I think it is important to consider the views of my subjects. So, on Christmas Day, I will come to visit each of you in turn and see how you celebrate Christmas. Then, in the evening, you will all assemble again right here, and I will announce which of you has understood the true meaning of Christmas.
The animals were delighted – each thinking he was right, every animal was convinced that, when the Lion saw how he celebrated Christmas, the king of the jungle would be sure to announce him the winner. They all scurried off to spend the rest of Christmas Eve preparing.
The Capybaras’ Christmas
The Lion’s first stop on Christmas morning was the home of the Capybaras, who lived in a marshy area surrounded by dense woodland.
When he arrived, he was delighted to see about thirty of these barrel-shaped creatures relaxing by the water, laughing together and chewing casually on the grass that grew in that area. “What sociable creatures the capybaras are!” the Lion said to himself.
Seeing the Lion arrive, Mr Capybara separated himself from the group and came over to greet him.
“Merry Christmas, Lion,” said the Capybara.
“Merry Christmas, Capybara,” said the Lion. “You all seem to be enjoying yourselves! Is this your family?”
“That’s right,” said the Capybara. “Christmas is a family occasion for us Capybaras. Hang on a minute – I’ll get the rest of them to say hello.”
The Capybara gave a shrill little whistle, and the other grazing capybaras turned around. Still more emerged from the water, where they had been swimming together. Then, the marshland was filled with a cacophony of purrs, barks, whistles and clicks.
“What a big family you have!” said the Lion. “And they all seem so friendly!”
“Yes,” said the Capybara. “We certainly are sociable creatures.”
“So what’s on your Christmas menu?” asked the Lion, warming to his friendly host.
“Well,” said the Capybara. “To start with, we’ve got a lovely selection of grass to choose from. Will you have some?”
The Lion shook his head awkwardly, not wanting to appear rude. “I’m not feeling that hungry, actually. Thank you for offering, though.”
The Capybara did not seem to mind. He continued:
“Then, later, we’ll have some fruit, and my wife’s got some lovely tree bark especially for today. It is Christmas, after all. Then, for dessert, we’ll finish off with a real Capybara speciality – our own faeces. You must stay and try some! It’s a wonderful source of bacterial gut flora.”
But the Lion did not seem to share the Capybara’s enthusiasm for his Christmas menu. “I’d love to, but I’d better be going,” he said hastily. “I have a lot of animals to visit today if I’m to make my decision about the true meaning of Christmas. But thank you very much for showing me how the Capybaras celebrate Christmas!”
“It was no trouble at all, Lion,” said the Capybara. “Merry Christmas!”
As the Lion left, the Capybara turned back to his family and threw himself into the marshy water, where his young children greeted him merrily.
The Python’s Christmas
Next, the Lion went to spend a bit of time with the Python. He was a little dubious about doing so, as the Python was a strange, long, sinister-looking creature. Being a mammal himself, the Lion wasn’t sure that he could trust this cold-blooded reptile.
He found the Python lying quietly in the undergrowth.
“Hello, Python,” he said, trying to be friendly in spite of his nervousness.
“Shhhhhhhh!” said the Python angrily.
“Sorry,” said the Lion. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m lying in wait for my prey,” said the Python. “There’s no chance anything will come this way with you sitting there growling like that!”
The Lion felt very awkward indeed. He had tried to be friendly, but the Python was simply not interested. Nevertheless, he felt that for the purpose of accuracy, he should at least try to get an idea of how the Python spent his Christmas. So, he lay down, trying as hard as possible to make himself appear long, thin and inconspicuous, and doing his best to be quiet.
The Python stayed still for what seemed like an age. The Lion was just about to doze off when, suddenly, the Python pounced. The Lion looked up, startled, to see the Python slowly wrapping himself around what appeared to be a baby deer.
“That’s amazing,” said the Lion. “Is this what you do with all your prey?”
“Absssssolutely,” said the Python, seeming a lot more content and approachable now that he had caught his Christmas meal.
“So what will you do next?” asked the Lion.
“Well,” said the Python, “It’ll take me a while to eat my Christmas lunch. I usually only eat creatures about the size of a small cat, but I do occasionally eat bigger prey, and it is Christmas, after all. It’ll take at least the next few days to digest, so I suppose that’ll be my Christmas over again for another year.”
“That’s fascinating,” said the Lion, who personally preferred to eat a little and often. “Thank you for letting me spend some time with you, Python. It’s been interesting to see how you spend your Christmas.”
He waited briefly for a response, but the Python was now busy trying to fit his jaws around the dead deer, and was not paying the Lion the slightest bit of attention. So, the Lion left, remarking to himself what a funny world it was.
The Tapir’s Christmas
The next stop for the Lion was the home of the Tapir. He found her resting by a stream. When he arrived, she started a little, but then quickly apologised.
“Sorry, Lion,” she said. “I didn’t mean to appear rude. It’s just that I have been having some trouble with my neighbours recently, and the noise startled me. How are you today?”
The Lion was surprised to be asked how he was – neither the sociable Capybara nor the unfriendly Python had shown an interest in him. The Capybara had been keen to show off his friendly family, and the Python had been much more interested in his Christmas meal. The Tapir seemed different. She was a nervous creature, but polite, and anxious to make sure that the Lion was comfortable during his visit.
“Do step this way, Lion, and make yourself at home,” she said, smiling.
The Lion was delighted, and did not hesitate to sit down in the clearing the Tapir had clearly spent some time arranging.
“Now, Lion, I know you’re a carnivore,” said the Tapir. The Lion nodded. “I’m afraid I’m a herbivore, and normally only eat vegetables. But, as I knew you were visiting, I have prepared a selection of meat for you to eat.”
The Lion was astonished. He knew that the Tapir did not eat any meat at all, and he was amazed that she had gone to all this trouble. Wondering what animal she had caught for him, the Lion began to drool slightly as the Tapir led him to the eating area.
“Do tuck in,” said the Tapir, revealing an array of slugs, beetles and spiders. “I’m not used to meat and didn’t know what you would like, so I went for something quite simple. I do hope you like it.”
The dismayed Lion was not sure what to say, so he merely nodded, trying to look enthusiastic, and warily pawed the medley – which he would hardly have called meat at all.
To change the subject, he said, “Thank you for going to so much trouble. Is this how you usually spend Christmas?”
The Tapir shook her head. “To be honest with you, Lion, I’m a nocturnal creature, and would normally be asleep right now. But it is Christmas, and as I knew I had a guest coming, I thought there wouldn’t be any harm in changing my routine just the once.”
“Thank you very much, Tapir,” he said. “I’ve had a lovely time, but I need to move on. I haven’t seen the Mandrill yet.”
“Well, it was a pleasure seeing you,” said the Tapir. “Won’t you take the rest of those slugs with you for the journey?”
The Lion shook his head. “It was lovely,” he said, “But I’m now feeling a bit full. Thank you for going to so much trouble for me. You’re very kind.”
The Mandrill’s Christmas
The Lion had heard that mandrills were very sociable, so he was expecting to see them celebrating Christmas in a similar way to the capybaras. When he got to their settlement, he was a little surprised to see not thirty or forty mandrills, but hundreds or perhaps even a thousand of them enjoying the plentiful plants and insects that were to be found in that part of the jungle.
At first, the Lion found it hard to get the attention of the mandrills. Most of them were mothers with young children, but the Lion could not make out any distinct families, as all of the creatures were playing, fighting and chattering together. Some were hopping about, clawing playfully at each other and tumbling around. Others were on their hind legs, almost running, and hooting with glee.
Eventually, the Lion spied the male Mandrill, who was busy with one of the females. When he saw the Lion, he stopped what he was doing to come and greet him.
“Welcome to our Christmas party, Lion,” said the Mandrill. “We’re having a crazy time today – there are so many of us! I bet the other Christmas parties you’ve been to today haven’t been as wild as this one – and look at the beautiful females!”
The Lion, who lived in quite a small pride with just a few females, was a little shy, but he nodded and smiled at the Mandrill, thinking to himself that it would be wrong to let his own preferences get in the way of the Christmas judgment he was expected to make.
Urging the Lion to go and enjoy himself, the Mandrill disappeared into the crowd. The Lion padded through the settlement, trying to relax and appear informal. As he passed groups of the chattering creatures, he nodded and smiled nervously.
Feeling a little out of place at this big party, the Lion did not stay long. But he did remark to himself that the mandrills were having a lovely Christmas, and that it was interesting to see how different animals enjoyed such very different things.
The Lion’s decision
In the evening, the animals assembled in the jungle to hear the Lion’s decision. Everyone was there – except for the Python, who was still digesting his Christmas lunch, and wasn’t particularly bothered about the result of the competition. As they waited for their king to appear, the animals were polite but reserved, and it was clear that they did not hold each other in particularly high esteem.
When the Lion appeared, they fell silent.
“Animals of the jungle,” said the Lion. “I have had a lovely day, spending time with you and your families, and seeing how you all choose to spend Christmas.” At this point the animals looked at one another, and I dare say some of them rolled their eyes impatiently, as they waited for the Lion’s decision.
The Lion continued: “It was amazing to see how differently each of you chose to celebrate Christmas. For the Capybaras, Christmas is obviously a family occasion, and I saw that they were all having a lot of fun playing and eating together. For the Python, the important thing about Christmas is the food – Christmas is a time to eat a little bit too much then relax as you digest your meal. The Tapir, on the other hand, clearly wants to be a good host and look after her guests – at her home, I really felt taken care of. Then, for the Mandrills, Christmas is one big party – a chance to eat, socialise, and – for Mr Mandrill – flirt with a large number of females.
“Each of you celebrates Christmas in a different way, and I know that each of you thinks you understand the true meaning of Christmas. But I’ve made a decision.”
The Lion paused, and the silence intensified as the animals realised that the Lion had reached the point they were waiting for.
He cleared his throat uneasily. “And my decision is, that you are all winners. If I’ve learned anything today, it’s that perhaps there isn’t always one true answer to a question. Maybe, in this situation, everyone’s opinion is valid. After all, all of you are doing something that’s meaningful for you, and that should count for something.”
As the Lion finished his speech, the animals were silent, and he looked at his subjects eagerly, excited and happy to have made his decision.
It was the Capybara who spoke first.
“Nonsense!” he spat. “I welcomed you into my home only for you to come up with a pathetic non-decision like that? What a waste of everybody’s time!”
“It’s true!” said the Mandrill. “That’s the last time I’m inviting you round for Christmas. Who made you the king of the jungle anyway?”
“Absolutely!” exclaimed the Tapir. “I thought lions normally lived in savanna grassland, not in the jungle at all. I’m not so sure we should trust a word you say!”
At this, the Lion got very upset. “Just you watch what you say, Tapir. If we’re talking about what Lions normally do, you might very well find yourself becoming my evening meal!”
The animals then became very nervous indeed. In the heat of their Christmas debate, they had all forgotten their place in the food chain. They looked at each other anxiously. How was it that a Capybara, a Tapir, a Python, a Mandril and a Lion had come together to have this conversation in the first place, without at least one of them gobbling another up?
Fortunately for all of them, this moment of unease was interrupted by another deep growl. They turned to see another creature, the Lioness, standing tall behind them, looking proud, feisty and powerful.
“Come on, you lot!” she exclaimed. “Stop all this chit-chat and come and celebrate Christmas with me and the other lions! I’ve just killed a massive zebra. Normally we’d keep it to ourselves, but today I’d like to invite you all to come and feast with us. Come on! It is Christmas, after all!”
Relieved, the animals followed the Lioness to a spot nearby, by the river, where several other lionesses (and a few lions) were already tucking into the zebra. As they arrived, the saw another lioness appear with a buffalo.
“Tuck in!” said the Lioness. “There’s plenty for everyone, so help yourselves!”
The Mandrill, who was an omnivore, was the first to join in the feast. Then the Tapir approached cautiously. “I don’t normally eat meat,” she said, “But as it’s Christmas, why not? I wouldn’t want to be a bore,” she said, looking sternly at the Lion. The Capybara trotted over to the feast. “I’m going to stay veggie,” he said. “But I must confess that my bacterial gut flora didn’t really do it for me, so I’m going to have a nibble at that long grass over there.”
One by one, the animals went to join the feast. Even animals who hadn’t been part of the original debate now appeared and went to the water’s edge. Those who wanted a bit of the zebra had their fill, and the others just milled around by the river, chattering, whistling and playing together. The Lion, watching the scene, was relieved to see that everything had turned out all right in the end.
The Lioness came to join him. “You didn’t mind me inviting everyone, did you?” she asked. “I just came to see how you were getting on with your Christmas debate, and things didn’t seem to be going too well. You do need to assert yourself a bit more sometimes, you know.”
The Lion looked back at her, lovingly. Normally, he might have responded angrily to such criticism. He might have told her that he was the king of the jungle, not her, and that she should show him a bit more respect. But, as it was Christmas, he just smiled and said, “Yes, dear.” Then the pair of them strolled, side by side, towards the party, their tails swishing against each other.
“Merry Christmas, dear,” said the Lioness, before tearing off a piece of the zebra.
“Yes, Merry Christmas,” said the Lion, finally feeling that he understood the true meaning of Christmas.
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